


You are my home and I'm homesick

by S1E3PY_TH1NGZ



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, CRYING IN THE CLUB, Crying, Hurt small comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I spent to long on this, M/M, Sapnap is there to help, im crying too, light fluff, sorry for the tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29385996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S1E3PY_TH1NGZ/pseuds/S1E3PY_TH1NGZ
Summary: MMMM ME GUSTA GOGY TEARS MMM GOGY IS ALONE HAHA SIMP!Or…George is trying his best to forget about his life with Dream and Sapnap tries his best to help.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Kudos: 27





	You are my home and I'm homesick

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this with no plot points and just went with the flow. if you liked this...thank you! comments are always the best to see no matter. remember to stay hydrated babies! mwah <3

It was way too fucking quiet. It was different now without all the loud noises. Some days it felt nice and other days it felt like little knives poking his body. The silence could fill up the room and drown out any oxygen in his fragile lungs. It hurt him everywhere. Betrayal dusted his vision and guilt fogged his thoughts. His heart twisted and turned like it was begging for the torture end. His own body didn’t want to listen to him. He didn’t eat for days, he didn’t care how much his stomach begged for nutrition. He didn’t take many showers either, his body burned at the water touching his flesh. 

Every day was the same as the other like a broken record on loop and he was the broken one. He wanted to cry; to plead, but he was tired of that already. He was tired of crying out for someone who would never even lend a hand. He was tired of caring for someone who left him to eat the dust. He was tired of exhausting himself over a stupid boy who never cared in the first place. He was just tired of everything. 

His friend tried to help as much as he could and stood up for him daily but it was never enough. His pain was unmeasurable and felt incurable. He was always good at hiding his negative emotions most of the time but he felt empty. He felt life give out on him and it all hurt so much. 

He would do anything to go back to what it was like in the past. He would do anything to feel the warm embrace of that stupid boy he is crying over. He would do anything to hear those stupid flirty conversations of theirs. He wanted to be held by him again.

He laid on the cold and gross grass, watching the beautiful stars shimmer in his gaze. Now and then, a breeze would flow through his silky brown hair and ghost a breath on his face. He would be lying when if he said he wished it happened more often. It was like a reminder that he was still living. He needs more reminders of his existence as he felt it slip like soap in his fingers. Sometimes he would grip hard into the grass so hard his knuckles looked paler than usual and he could feel dirt collect under his average length nails just for a reminder. Sometimes he would pull out a single strand of hair just to feel the pain as a reminder. Sometimes he would reach up to his face flex out his skin just as a reminder. 

Sometimes he wished he didn't feel anything. 

A voice called his name but the voice rang deaf to his ears. He didn’t care anyway; it wasn’t his voice, “George? George, where the fuck are you?” It was a familiar sounded voice but it still didn’t concern his mind. He tried to focus on literally anything but his depressed state. He tried to think of the life he had ahead of him but it all turned to messy blurs when he realized his life would be without the only person he cared about now. He would have to live every day with a broken heart. 

The footsteps behind him weren't important at this moment. The same person who called out to him earlier had spoken from next to the body saying down, “There you are. I was concerned about where you went.” The person talking had squat down next to the boy on the ground. They didn’t say anything and just revelled in the silence of the moonlit cliff. George wanted to speak so badly but everything hurt too much. It hurt knowing that no matter what came out of his mouth he couldn’t go back. He can’t change what has already happened. 

“George…you can’t just wander off like that. You scared everyone!” He wasn’t yelling aggressively towards George, he was just obviously concerned. George didn’t care much if they worried for him. In fact, he wished they didn’t care for him at all. 

They didn’t dare to speak a word as if it would scare the stars away. The moon looked like it wanted all spotlight to be on the two males as it lit up their bodies. George didn’t want to look at his friend sitting next to him in fear he would break down in tears. They didn’t need to physically communicate to tell what was happening in their minds. No words are needed to describe their emotions. The moon caressed their bodies with light and the mild wind blew sweet kisses on their face. The air whispered their names as it continued to fly by and the dirt held them both as close as possible. 

It took quite a while until the person next to George had laid down next to him, close but not enough to feel uncomfortable. The body heat next to him had immediately reminded him of the times he spent with the boy who betrayed his heart. It reminded him of all the times they had just laid down in the grass shoulder-to-shoulder and talked about some random topic they thought of. It reminded him of all the times that they would hug and he could feel the other male's body heat that filled him with sickening butterflies. It reminded him of the pain of not feeling that body heat and man, that hurt most. 

He was in pain from it all. Not the pain that made you scream for mercy and not the pain that made you cry for help. He was blinded by everything and he didn’t feel that urge to cry or scream. He just wanted to stay silent about it. He thought that if he never expresses any pain that maybe it would just go away and find him not entertaining. Sadly, he knew that his wish would never come true. 

“You were thinking about him again…weren’t you?” His friend next to him had asked him and he knew it wasn’t rude or insensitive because he was right. George didn’t want to reply and he couldn’t if he tried, the truth about his situation had blocked any useful thoughts. “Dream was a bad guy and we are finally free from him. Don’t you think that's a good thing?” None of his questions were rude but the second he had mentioned a particular name George had felt his own body give up on him.

The next thing he knew, he was sobbing the loudest tears he didn’t even know he was holding in beforehand. 

His friend next to him had realized he was crying and immediately noticed his error, trying his best to scramble some type of words together to comfort his crying friend. George didn’t move and continued to stare off into the starry sky above him while tears ceaselessly fell down his face. His friend had very quickly gotten up and rushed to his side to help as best as possible. George didn’t want to make it seem like his problem was his friend's fault but his mouth was so dry and pained that he couldn’t even speak. He was back to dealing with the bittersweet pain of his love for a stupid boy who betrayed his fragile heart. 

George watched his friend’s face out of the corner of his eye just to see his panic until they had gone entirely face to face. He couldn’t hold back his suffering anymore. His self-control had melted in his hands like butter on a beautiful pancake breakfast. His control was gone and all his emotions burst out of him like fireworks. 

He had just completely fallen apart and his entire body ached and begged for something it could never achieve. His pained eyes stared at his friend’s features as a way of hoping to distract his mind from the torture it was going through. He scanned his friend's face who’s eyes were leaking with concern and guilt, his mouth had opened and closed in an attempt to speak silent comforting words. George didn’t tell him that it wasn’t his fault or anything along those lines but instead gave him a massive hug, lightly pulling him down towards the grass while doing so. 

Their hug was relieving. It was relieving the way George clutched his shirt and poured his heart out. It was relieving when they both didn’t pull away and stayed in each other's arms. Their hug was almost everything George had wanted, that didn’t mean he didn’t still feel empty inside. It left him wanting more, left him wishing that the negative feelings in his body could spill from out of his core with this hug. 

No words could leave his mouth, every time he tried it just made his tears fall in huge waves. His friend was the first one to speak back up again since he could actually use his voice, “I’m sorry, I know you loved him but he hurt us” He stopped his sentence just so he could let go of George and stare into his eyes as softly as he could. “…He hurt you”

And, he was completely correct. Dream had hurt them all. He was a manipulator, he was an awful person to everyone. But he was their friend. Was. George saw him as more. He wanted to stroll the flower fields with him, hand-in-hand, talking about stupid and useless things. He wanted to kiss his face and hug him as tightly as possible. He wants so much but all he cares about is just having Dream, which he can’t do now. He can’t go and tell him some stupid joke out of nowhere anymore. He can’t randomly complain about some problem about being colorblind anymore. He can’t share the same conversation that he used to. Being away from Dream made him remember all the little things we wished he brought up in a conversation. It made him remember how badly he wished he just told him his feelings but he never did, and now he never will be able to. All those things we wished he did or said towards Dream would never happen. They would never talk the same way again. He wasn’t going to talk to Dream anyway after everything he put them through. 

He just sobbed as loud as his fragile lungs allowed him to like he was calling out for help. And he was calling for help. They once again sat in silence but this time the air had changed drastically. They were no longer in a soft and comforting windy air, instead, they were now stuck in a loop of neverending depression and hurt. They both wanted to speak this time, their tongues threatening to spill all their secrets but they kept their mouths closed. Neither of them knew how to properly speak at the moment. So, they were back to the antagonizing sound of the wind blowing through trees and choked-back tears. 

George just let out all his tears without a single explanation as his throat dried up and his body shook. He didn’t dare hold back any sounds, he didn’t care about how ugly he sounded or looked because all that pain he was holding back was slipping out of his fingers and that was the best feeling. Sure, he was upset more than his words could convince himself but it felt so nice to let it go. It was like when you finally finish a stressful exam and get a good mark; so incredibly painful until it’s all over. And he wanted it to be over already. 

It was multiple, multiple minutes after and he couldn’t make any more sounds and became silent, his body gave up a long time ago along with any of his rational thoughts. Now he just felt empty inside but in the best possible way. Wiping his tears and his feelings away, he looked his friend right in the eyes. His friend hasn’t said anything the whole time and instead, he questioned how he could help the crying male. Still, he remained silent. 

“H-Hey, Sap…” George spoke softer and raspier than he ever had before from just how vulnerable he felt in the moment. His friend gave a simple smile but it felt so much to George. It showed that he was the only true friend he still had by his side. Even if they used to play around and hate each other, they were still very close and they relied on each other. 

George watched every part of his friend's face. His black hair had grown out a bit and was almost at ear level, it was parted to gently shape the sides of his face, a white bandana covering the open space on his forehead. His friend’s eyes looked at him so delicately with guilt and comfort like a soft and warm hug around his small and hurt body. 

“Hey, Gogy…” He used George’s nickname in hopes of brightening up the mood and he was content when it seemed to work after a little giggle fled from his mouth. The rest of the night was like that, they shared small little nervous jokes in hopes to make the situation better. They talked about random things under the moonlight before heading to their houses to sleep. 

It wasn’t an ideal night but it felt right to them and they wouldn’t change it for the world.


End file.
